WHY TENNIS? My coping skills gets tested once again

Third family member passed a week ago. My coping skills gets test again! Hope this Blog help all find their coping skills as I have continued to find mine!

WHY TENNIS? THIS IS WHY! I HAVE DEVELOPED VERY STRONG COPING SKILLS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE DUE TO TENNIS!
February 2022 has been a series of “when it rains it pours” month.  I know the saying “life is a rollercoaster ride” and how true it is. Cancer this time. Lost third one of my beloved family a week ago.  Then Venmo disaster and then nonstop rain with cancelled tennis classes but coping skills kicked in once again.  Made up all rained classes, cancelled Venmo, took a few days to reset and be with family.  Struck my family hard. Losing 3 beloved ones between 2021 to 2022 is too much.

My mom did not pass peacefully, she was taken savagely, unfairly, ruthlessly from me right in front of my eyes in February of 2021 in Nepal.

I keep it locked up in my mind as it was the most horrific month fighting for her losing the battle. I will never forget who was involved. Will never forget Dr. K and Patan Hospital, not in a good light.  Her medical files were burned, why? What was the truth? Isn’t it illegal? This and many questions haunt me forever, no answers, no justification, I have the truth on my side and close friend and her family witnessed until the very end, always by my side.  Everything that happened was so wrong, felt so wrong! Lost faith in a lot, lost trust.  Saw the worst of humanity and its very ugly side full of greed, control and power full month in Nepal. I was a wreak, broken!

I was left all alone (but for my dear friend in Nepal) to take my mom from hospital to crematory to temple and wash her remains in Sacred Pashupatinath river, I stayed until the very end and brought her back with me to Austin, TX.
I came back and I could not have gone forward if it had not been for my family, close friends and TENNIS.  I buried myself doing what I love.  Without tennis I would have gone under.
Depression is real and coping is very hard but I had tennis, I fully focused on it and worked, worked, worked.  Teaching and family makes me happy so I sought to reach for any slice of happy wherever I could find keeping the waterworks at bay.  I cried when I could, when no one watched but I showed up to the tennis court everyday and served and served up the best tennis. It made my students happy and in turn it made me happy!

February 18th, 2022, here in Austin, I went with one of my best tennis friends (she lost her father same day as my mother in the exact manner while I was in Nepal she was here in the US, we leaned on each other talked every night). On this 1 year anniversary we spent the day to remember and grieve together as well as celebrate our loved one’s memories.  We offered roses to all our loved ones, prayed, comforted each other.

We talked, we hugged, we cried and we laughed together, remembering all the great memories as we lunched in the sun and went for a short hike to the duck pond. We enjoyed the calm and peace of nature that both our families so loved.  I am so grateful to have such a dear friend. Thank you, CA, love you friend!

We must find ways to cope otherwise we go downhill and quickly. We must reach out and help each other and find ways to heal and move on!

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone is different but this is how “I” have always used coping skills to push through, heal, get stronger. Hopefully it helps others!

• First, this is my theory, never be shy to reach out to the right people in your life that are good people who are always willing to help you because you have always helped them. Can be close family, very dear close friends that have become family. They will always be there for you no matter what!  When we are ready to talk that is when the healing begins.
• Mom was a very energetic, kind, loving and fun soul.  Growing up in Nepal, she taught me everything from cooking fresh, gardening, growing your own food, how to boost immune system from inside naturally, caring for family, friends and serving other humans and all gods creations and so much more.  She really had a great sense of humor and was a ton of fun, loved to sing, dance, laugh, joke and boy she could party all night every New Years eve here in Austin with us.  She always taught me to do the things I love that makes me happy.  She was my son’s biggest tennis fan, she came to so many of his tennis tournaments and mine, she visited us often and stayed for 6 months at a time.  I miss her dearly as I had so much more to share with her, so did my husband and our son.
  

  Mom cooks Nepali food for the whole tennis team going to Nationals in Palm Springs, 2015

  

  We made it to Nationals in 2015. What a great experience with my awesome team mates

  She cooked for our whole tennis team right before we went to Nationals and they loved her because she was such a light.  She loved on my husband, my son and me always supported us. She was always proud of me and was a big fan of my tennis and my small business and kept encouraging me with, chase your dreams and don’t let anything or anyone take you down!
  So, each day I pick something fun to do that makes me happy: I tend to cook a lot at once and fix home-made packaged meals to take to my son to college (one of my favorite things to do nowadays), or garden, or walk my dog, or workout, teach/play tennis, or workout indoors or outdoors, or meet a friend, or clean the house, or paint, or do photography and web design, anything I love,  something productive and purposeful.
  Finding Just one thing a day that makes us happy and making time for it goes a long way. Every day if we start with a purpose to be productive in some way helps!

• Second, keep working out! Keep up your exercise routine going and find the time, make the time.  It helps to boost energy and keeps the immune system strong, allows stress release and is good for the body and mind. In every instance I pushed myself to get outdoors, garden, teach and play tennis, cook and always surrounded myself with close loved family and friends.   I never stayed indoors too long at a time.  I buried myself in work teaching 6/7 hrs on court nonstop as soon as I got back form Nepal and another 4/5 hrs at my desk running the business.  I closed out Facebook, Twitter and closed all channels of communication with those who did not matter in my life and focused on those that did and always cared.  I focused on self-care and healing, getting heart rate up with gardening, digging, planting, working out.  I wanted to be strong for my family here and my tennis students.  I had people who loved me, I had a purpose to fulfil and carry on, mom would have said come on lets go, you can do this!  She always got back up!
• Sleep: I made sure to get enough sleep.  Very important get minimum 6 hours straight sleep. 7-8 hrs would be better.  It helps body and mind refresh.
• Proper nutrition: I cooked fresh a lot. When we are stressed, we tend to not eat or overeat. Stick with a balanced meal. Repeat.  After the balanced meal treat yourself, doesn’t hurt you.
• Hydration: I always drink a ton of water every day.  Keep drinking lots of water to flush out the bad toxins in your body and replenish.  Water hydrates and keeps you healthy.
• Get outdoors get sun, Vitamin D: I have always relied on fitness, health and nutrition throughout my life.  I take tons of walks.  Walk your dog, garden, go out with friends, get sunlight & greenery. It is free, we are surrounded by it.  Mind/ body gets quickly recharged
• Allow yourself to grieve, cry, mourn let the emotions out with close family and friends and talk it out:   This was hard for me but with time I was able to talk to very close loved ones.  I allowed myself to cry whenever wherever except on the tennis court. The waterworks knows no right time, a song or a movie or a beautiful painting, or nature can trigger it. We must let it go and let it flow.  It is part of body and mind’s way of healing
• Now make a plan: Write a check list and start to go down the list and tackle one thing at a time with a clear head that needs your attention.  I always have a checklist daily. Exercise if on top, selfcare is always on top.  Like they say put your mask on before you help the one next to you in any flight, I believe in selfcare first.  If we don’t care for ourselves first,  we can be of no use of help to our loved ones and others around us.  If we are not healthy we can’t care for others.

I get my strength from my mom, she was the toughest yet the gentlest soul, beautiful inside and out.

She endured a lot but always got back up every time, every challenge tried to take her down. She taught me to be honest and kind and do it with integrity.  She taught me to always try to do the right thing and do right by people but also to stand up and never be a pushover.  She loved nature, wildlife, photography and always helped people, animals, bird, rescued many and I followed in her footsteps.

She believed in growing your own fresh food, eating healthy, outdoor exercise, gardening, cooking fresh all to boost immune system from inside out and she taught me all this which I follow religiously.  We are what we put in our bodies, she believed it and I always did. Nature is the way always first!

Through tennis I promote wellness of mind and body and teach all young and adult how much fun tennis brings but also arms us with the strongest coping skills!
I am well aware no one said life is easy, especially when you lose your loved ones, but I am also aware many are in the same boat as me.  My purpose and calling in life has always been and will continue to be to make people feel safe, healthy and happy on court and off court and teach young and adults the value of tennis and how it relates to real life coping skills.

Every challenge I kept teaching nonstop, kept at it outdoors, it helped me through the healing process and still does today.  Tennis gives a lot of joy but at the same time it arms you with the strongest coping skllls .  For just a few hours I get to help others forget their daily stressors and worries and help them feel good about themselves and have fun while learning tennis.  Recreational tennis or competitive tennis I am there for all.  This not only makes my students happy but in turn makes me happy.  I have a job/ small business I created, going on 18 years now, that I love so much.  It has been a blessing helps me in life while helping others.  I have taught my son tennis since he was very young, I have taught my husband tennis, I taught my mom how to play, I have taught and continue to teach thousands. I have the best job ever, I get to serve and touch lives every day!  Sometimes life takes us through very very tough challenges, it

is not easy, it is a lot of hard work and takes a lot effort to push through, but with determination, self-care, reaching out, pushing through with coping skills, but always worth it and can be done with time.  With my family, close friends and tennis love and support I have learned to and laugh again and make others smile again!  Time is valuable, it takes time to heal, always make and take time for family and close friends!

Because so many of our loved ones love us, many rely on us each day, we must keep pushing through arming ourselves with the best coping skills we can draw each day. Our work has to continue to be purposeful and has to have meaning because we care for them as much!  Never give in to the dark, always fight to move towards the light!  We cannot save the world by our selves but we can play a small part in helping each other, our families, friends, neighbors, our communities each day by touching just one life be it human or in nature, pets or wildlife.  That is the best we can do and that is good enough as each family is going through something in their lives.
Be kind and always “ask first” before you judge a book by its cover!  If anyone sucks the life out of you, it is time to change the people around you, be with people who motivate and cheer you on, be with people who have a positive outlook in life, be with people who inspire you, push you to do better and have fun.
Back on court, sun is out and looking forward to seeing all everyday having fun playing tennis!  Always a blast seeing all my tennis students!  I look forward to class every day!

Excuse the grammar and the blog itself and spell check, that is the least of my concerns these days. Wearing many hats, doing what I love I choose to spread myself thin and I have a very good reason but I love everything I do with a passion and I always make time for my family, close friends and my community!

Cheers!
coach